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Writer's pictureBeth Montgomery

Embracing Grief with Compassion: A Death Doula's Perspective

shadow of a hand, black and white, grief, embracing Grief with compassion, death doula perspective

Grief is a complex and multifaceted emotion. Defined as "deep sorrow," it’s usually associated with the death of someone we love. But grief can also relate to any loss—loss of a dream, hope, plans, or what could have been. It touches every aspect of our lives, especially in times of great change and uncertainty.


Grief is a universal experience, a complex and often overwhelming emotion that touches every corner of our lives where loss resides.


In today's world, many of us are grieving more than ever. The "American Dream," once a reachable aspiration, now feels out of arm’s reach in our current financial climate. We find ourselves hustling to the point of burnout, exhausted and mourning the loss of what we thought our lives would be. The COVID pandemic has added another layer of trauma, disrupting our sense of security and normalcy. Yet, society urges us to return to "business as usual," ignoring the fundamental breaks in our basic human needs.


Understanding Grief Beyond Death

Grief is not linear. It doesn’t follow a set path or timeline, and it doesn’t just go away. When grief arises, it’s a testament to the great love and significance of what we’ve lost. Whether you’re grieving the death of a loved one, the loss of a job, a shattered dream, or the current state of the world, your grief is valid.


As a Death Doula, I have had the honor of sitting with many people as they navigate their grief. One thing I’ve learned is that there is no right or wrong way to grieve. Each person’s journey is unique, and the most important thing we can do is to offer ourselves and others compassion and understanding.


Radical Compassion: A Path to Healing

One of the most powerful tools for navigating grief is radical compassion. This means offering yourself deep compassion in every emotional storm, no matter what arises. Tara Brach’s book "Radical Acceptance" beautifully illustrates this concept, introducing the Buddhist idea of "Mara" to represent fear and suffering. By meeting Mara with compassion rather than resistance, we can find a path to healing.


A Contemplative Practice:

Ask yourself, How can I offer myself compassion in this moment? Take a deep breath and allow yourself to feel whatever arises. Practicing radical compassion for yourself in these moments is a powerful step towards healing.


Creating a Supportive Community

Grief can feel isolating, but it doesn’t have to be. Finding a supportive community where you can share your experiences and receive understanding can make a significant difference. Local grief support groups and Death Cafés provide a space for open, compassionate conversations about grief and loss. In the coming months, there will be multiple Death Cafés in Central PA, and possibly virtual ones as well.


Take the Next Step: Finding Community

As a Death Doula, my role is to provide holistic support, guidance, and a compassionate presence as you navigate your grief. Whether it’s through individual sessions, community groups, or simply offering a listening ear, I am here to help you find your path to healing.

If you’re interested in joining a safe Community Group where you can share your grief and support one another, please respond with your interest here. Together, we can create a space where we can come together and heal as a community.


Take the Next Step: Book a Private Intuitive Session

An intuitive session can provide the clarity and support you need to navigate grief. It’s not about eliminating grief but finding ways to live with it and grow from it. Through intuitive guidance, you can build confidence, own your power, and practice your spiritual gifts. Whether you seek healing, insight, or simply a compassionate ear, I’m here to help you on your journey. Book your session today. Let’s work together to uncover the strength and wisdom within you.


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